There’s a new wedding blog which is pretty cool, it’s called “F Yeah Gay Weddings” and you can visit it right now at fyeahgayweddings.com. The site’s editor, Ms. Luz-Vegas, and I have been chatting about me writing something for the blog, because after all, the ceremony is at the very core of a wedding, gay or not.
I’ve got a problem though.
I’m torn between two thoughts.
One is that a gay wedding is, or should be, exactly completely the same as a straight wedding, except for the whole guy-guy or girl-girl thing, which is merely semantics. Yes there’s all of that hate and hurt that a section of our community has continually heaped onto the gay community, but push that aside for a moment and it’s just two kids in love and their village celebrating with them.
The other thought is that gay weddings change everything.
You see the problem with straight weddings is that they come with hundreds, thousands, of years of tradition, meaning, symbolism. So when some guy asks some girl to marry him today they are automatically subscribing to years of junk. There’s a whole wedding industry working hard to redefine that, but at the core of it you say wedding and we’ve got thousands of hours of hollywood wedding demonstrations, wedding magazines and princess ideologies around what a wedding is.
You say gay wedding though and that’s a totally new thing. Just like in 1961 when the civil marriage celebrant was introduced as part of the brand new Marriage Act of 1961, and we had a chance to define what a civil ceremony was, gay brides and grooms today get to start a fresh, with a blank page.
With no requirement to adhere to church doctrine or years of family tradition, a gay wedding can be anything you want.
Now we’re simply left with one simple question: when everything is stripped away, and there’s no precedent, how do two people celebrate their love and commitment? Regardless of their gender. You’re so lucky because you get to create your own celebration!