For my 33rd birthday Britt bought me an e-reader and the first thing I did was start Googling for blog posts about how to get the best out of it. Best places to buy books, apps, hacks, all of that kind of nerdy stuff.
Then, as I read this Senegalese proverb, I thought this is how you get the best out of your wedding celebrant or officiant:
Where you fail to communicate to your celebrant, you fail to get the best out of them. And when all of your expectations and assumptions are communicated, you’ll get the best out of your celebrant. Well, you’ll definitely get the best out of me!
What should I communicate?
Great question! Here’s a list that’s a good place to start:
- What time do you expect the celebrant to arrive?
- What time do you expect them to stay to?
- What do you expect they would be wearing?
- Are you ok with them using paper/iPad/Kindle/stone tablet?
- Is saying “I do really important to you?
- Do you require a three hour prayer session in the middle of the ceremony?
- Is your fiance’s estranged father expected to arrive and cause trouble at the ceremony?
- Did you change the time and does the celebrant know?
- Do you hate candle ceremonies?
- Do you love candle ceremonies?
- Have you never heard of a candle ceremony you lucky soul?
- Do you want the celebrant to stand in the middle, or on the end, or on the left, or out the back or in the pool?
- Do you want you vows to be private, public, semi-private, on paper, on iPhone, in Mandarin?
- Are you exchanging wedding rings? Not everyone does.
- Have you told the celebrant that it is smart casual but you’d probably prefer it if they were in a suit, or a pantsuit, or in underwear, or something?
- Do you want your celebrant to sing a part of the song even if they’re a terrible singer?
- Is it a nudist wedding?
- No jokes?
- Lots of jokes?
- Some jokes?
- Wear a bow tie … or don’t.
- How much Jesus is appropriate for your ceremony? Most civil celebrants wouldn’t be dropped J-bombs in your ceremony unless you asked them to anyway, but maybe you have a thing they should know about.
- What are your life philosophies? What do you believe in, not believe in?
- Do you Facebook? If not … a Facebook joke might be weird.
- Are you pro-zombie?
- Are you having kids? Not having kids?
- Are you serving kids as the entree at your reception?
- Do you have a favourite band?
- Are you a Star Wars fan or do you like that other stupid sci-fi show that some people like? #NoJudgement
- Would you like a band lyric used in the ceremony?
- Would you like your celebrant to lead everyone in the wedding to give their lives to a deity at the end of the service?
- Are you serving drinks? Can I have one?
- Would you like me bearded?
- No photos? Lots of photos? Some photos? Some photos but not during the ceremony? There’s a hashtag? The hashtag is awesome?
- Can I bring my pet Panda?
- Can I bring Agnes the new office kitten?
- Are you pro-kitten?