Speaking to a group of people that don’t have to listen to you is a great honour and as a celebrant I’m lucky enough to do this daily. I never forget the great responsibility I have when I pick up that microphone. I want every celebrant to be a powerful speaker, meaningful communicator, to be the rockstar at the wedding that leads the crowd in a song (song or maybe just a spoken performance … because you won’t find me sining) that celebrates the couple getting married.

Don’t be confused though: the world doesn’t need wedding celebrants and officiants that desire celebrity and notoriety, but a rockstar commands an audience, is listened to and creates a memorable and powerful atmosphere with their song. Now I can’t sing, so I won’t at your wedding. But I can recommend Benjamin Carlyle or this guy if you need someone.

This blog post is written for celebrants, if you know one, please pass it along. This blog post also lends really heavily from a TED talk by Julian Treasure. Watch the embed below.

Julian shares a powerful communication principle he calls HAIL:

H: Honesty – Be clear and straight
A: Authenticity – Be yourself
I: Integrity – Be your word
L: Love – Wish them well

When I think back to every time that I’ve walked away from a wedding punching the sky (usually silently and in my head, not with my actually fist) I’ve hit these four points.

I’ve spoken honestly, with authenticity, integrity and with love. There’s a something really true, simple, no-bullshit, awesomeness about it.

If you’re a celebrant reading this, make sure that you stay true to who you are, to what you believe, what you believe to be amazing. Don’t ride off the back of other ceremonies you’ve seen or been a part of. That ceremony was probably really good, but it’s not to be duplicated until death do you both part.

If you’re a bride and groom looking for a celebrant, look for a person that just oozes those four attributes: honesty, authenticity, integrity, and love.

Words are powerful, they have the opportunity to give life or take it away. They shape an atmosphere and change the conditions, the feeling, the air. You can change a whole environment with a few words.

Seriously, go back and watch that TED talk.