Everyone jokes about wedding stress, the stress of “making sure everything is right” and the stress of keeping someone’s mother at bay and all of those great wedding myths.
Today I wanted to kick a few of those myths to the curb, and also throw out the wedding stress associated with them.
These things are all myths, if you believe them, do as the rappers do and “check yo’ self”
- Everything has to be “just right”. Wrong: The only thing that has to be “right” is the legal part of your marriage ceremony. Everything else can be as not-right as it so happens to be. The most important part of your wedding is your marriage because after all the guests leave and the glasses are collected, that’s all you’ll be left with.
- Tradition is important. Wrong: tradition has a place, it can represent something about you that friends or family might not know or have forgotten, and it can serve as a callback to the ways things were and also serve as a guidepost for where we’ve been before as far as weddings are concerned. But tradition is not important. In-fact most traditions are more spooky than traditional. It’s not bad luck for a groom to see the bride before the wedding, but it’s sometimes nice to be surprised by the dress and her amazing looks. So respect tradition, but it’s not the most important thing on your day.
- Mothers and Mothers-in-law are scary. Usually wrong: This is opinion, not fact, but most mothers-in-law and mothers just want the best for their children’s wedding day. But don’t be afraid to put up boundaries and make sure they are clearly communicated.
- This is the only way a wedding can happen. Wrong: There are literally bazillions of ways you can celebrate your marriage beginning. A good start might be to read my blog 🙂
Once you’ve checked yo self with the above myth busters, here’s my stress buster tips:
- Name your priorities. Decide what’s important on your wedding day, an example might be: we get married, there are photos, we eat well, it must be at xyz venue. So secure those things early, like really early, pay deposits and budget for them. Then list your secondary priorities and your not-important-priorities. If time and budget allow, then do them. But make sure you identify what’s most important to you and that you’ve budgeted and paid for it.
- Stop calling it a wedding and start calling it a marriage starting party. It doesn’t sound as cool as a wedding, but the word wedding seems to invoke fear in the hearts of grown men and even some adult women! The wedding part is the bit where you exchange vows and a celebrant makes you sign a document. The rest of it is just a party celebrating that event. So make sure the marriage starting party (trust me it’ll catch on) is representative of how you party. Everyone there should know that they’re at your party. Because they’re your closest friends and family so they’ve probably already been to a housewarming or a birthday party of yours, plus the theming and the run of the night will look like a party you planned, not a reception you bought at the wedding supermarket.
- Set boundaries. Once you’ve identified what’s important to you, your fiance and your budget, make sure it’s communicated to those that need to know. So when mum suggests a horse-drawn carriage you can clearly state your boundaries and she’ll know that she’s overstepped the mark. This book might help!
- Communicate expectations. The few weddings I’ve worked at that have not been as pleasant as some others ended up that way, all for the same reason: uncommunicated expectations. Or sometimes it’s poorly communicated expectations. Put every request in writing, or email. If your DJ agreed to a price or a date or a meeting, confirm in email. If you want your florist to perform a handstand at the ceremony, make sure you ask them. If you want your celebrant to recite the Lord’s prayer in pigeon english, make sure they know about it. Communicate your expectations.
- Trust your suppliers/slaves. You’ve paid people to do the work, and hopefully you’ve chosen the right people. Trust them to deliver. Same with your friends you’ve asked to volunteer on the day. Communicate your expectations to them and trust them.
- Smile. Seriously, look at this Pinterst board and smile. If that doesn’t help think about Platypus’. Regardless of how you get there, just be happy. You’re about to marry the love of your life. How lucky are you!
Have you got any tips for brides wanting to de-stress? Share them in the comments!