Dr Seuss Wedding Vows

Celebrant: With that, I ask you right now,
Will you answer me right now,
These questions, as your wedding vow?

Couple: Yes, I will answer you right now,
Your questions as my solemn vow,
Person 1: Provided our guests don’t have a cow.

Celebrant: Will you love him/them if he’s rich?
Will you love her/them in a ditch?
From today until the end of time,
Even if his/their words don’t rhyme?

Person 2: I will love her/them if she’s rich
Person 1: And I will love him/them in a ditch
Person 2: And I will even love her/them when they’re/she’s being a b…eautiful princess/prince.

Celebrant: Will you love him/them for richer, for poorer,
Will you love her/them for quiet or snorer,
From today until the cows come home,
And never stop writing goofy poems?

Person 1: I will love him/them if they’re/he’s poor.
Person 2: I will love her/them if she/they snores.
Person 1: And I will love him/them when they’re/he’s a bore.

Celebrant: Will you love with all your heart?
Will you love till death do you part?
Will you have and forever hold,
Each others’ hearts ‘till the stars grow cold?

Couple: I will love her/him/them forever a thousand fold,
‘Till death do us part and our blood grow cold,
Person 2: Or until our brains grow mold.

Celebrant: Will you love through good and bad?
Will you love in times happy and sad?

Couple: I will love her/him through good and bad,
And in times happy and sad.
Person 1: Cause he’s the best friend I ever had.

Celebrant: Will you take him as your mate?
Will you have her as your date?
From this day on and ever more,
No matter what your life may have in store?

Couple: I will have her/him as my mate,
Starting on this our wedding date.
Person 1: May as well, as it’s our fate.

Celebrant: If you’ll be wed through and through,
Please answer with the words:

Couple: I do!