Eight Fascinating Wedding Traditions You Never Knew Existed

Regular readers of this blog know how passionate I am about wedding traditions. So here are eight more fascinating customs you can learn about today (and probably forget tomorrow)!

Note: Most of these traditions were documented by non-native observers between 100 and 250 years ago. If the observations seem rather… anthropological or… white… in nature, that’s why.

1. The Integrity of the Cup

Among the Abyssinians (now known as the Habesha People of the Horn of Africa), there existed a rather intriguing ceremony involving wine, a cup and a hidden hole. The wedding ceremony itself was quite conventional by today’s standards—featuring feasting, celebrations and the customary sending-off of the newlyweds to their wedding chamber.

The following morning, however, the entire village would gather around the site of the previous night’s activities to witness a crucial ritual. The groom would appear holding a cup, which he would present to the bride’s father. What happened next could go one of two ways:

In the best scenario, the cup would simply be a cup, and both men would share the wine within, cementing the marriage. However, if the groom released the cup to reveal a concealed hole—allowing all the wine to pour out—the wedding would be instantly annulled. This wordless gesture announced to all present that the groom had discovered his wife was not virtuous before marriage (described as “frail” by the author writing in 1802). The father would then reclaim both his dowry and his daughter.

2. Face-Smackers, Trip Wires and Poetry: A Welsh Marriage

It took the mighty Roman Empire 30 years to conquer Wales, that tiny corner of Britain. Apparently, the Welsh had quite the appetite for prolonged sieges—whether defending against the world’s mightiest empire or orchestrating their own weddings in 1815.

The process began with a quick, quiet church ceremony. Then the real fun started. The bride and groom would return to their separate houses, and the groom’s friends would mount their horses and charge towards the bride’s home, accompanied by a remarkably athletic piper.

The bride’s friends, meanwhile, would have prepared an obstacle course worthy of a military training ground. They’d string straw ropes between trees and set up a peculiar contraption called a gwyntyn (or “quintain” in English)—essentially a face-smacking machine designed to unseat riders. Even if you managed to dodge the face-smacker, you’d still have to face the bride’s friends, who would challenge you to various trials of skill that couldn’t be refused.

Should you reach the bride’s house, you’d then need to engage in a battle of wit—reciting poetry and singing clever songs through the door to the women inside. Only when the women ran out of responses would the door finally open. The men would then (somewhat) gently carry off the bride, with her friends in playful pursuit, culminating in another mock battle.

After a day filled with poetry, singing and theatrical combat, the bride would finally arrive at her husband’s home, where the festivities—undoubtedly including more singing and mock fighting—would continue well into the night.

3. The Touching Dance

Of all the marriage traditions uncovered in my research, the Lillooet Indians of what is now British Columbia had perhaps the sweetest and most sensible approach. They practised what was known as “the touching dance.” Unmarried women would wear sashes while dancing, and if a man wished to marry a particular woman, he would grasp her sash. If she wasn’t interested, she would simply remove it from his grasp, and he would respectfully withdraw.

At the dance’s conclusion, the chief would announce the names of couples still connected by their sashes. If a woman had allowed a man to maintain his hold until the end, they were considered married. Rather lovely, isn’t it?

4. The Blister-Packed Bride

In the northeastern corner of Russia, the Kamschatkadal (Kamchadal) people had a rather unique approach to matrimony. If you wanted to marry a woman, you’d essentially become a temporary servant to her parents. If they approved of your work, they’d grant permission for the marriage—by instructing you to find their daughter and remove her clothes. That’s when things got interesting.

Once word spread that the groom was on the hunt, all the village women would spring into action. They would protect the bride by quite literally mummifying her—layering garment upon garment and binding her with fish nets and straps until she resembled, in the words of one observer, “a mummy.”

If the groom got lucky and found his fiancée relatively unguarded, he’d attempt to untangle her. This would trigger an alarm, bringing all the women running to defend the bride—not ceremonially, but with genuine kicks, scratches and attempts to wound the young man. If he succeeded in stripping her, tradition demanded he flee the scene (presumably the gentlemanly response to removing a lady’s fishing gear). The bride would then “tenderly” call him back and invite him to stay.

5. Oh Russia, No.

Picture yourself as a Russian contemplating marriage in 1814. Those stereotypes about Russia being bleak and harsh? They didn’t materialise from thin air. Even their most joyous celebrations appeared utterly dismal to foreign observers (and, frankly, to me).

The playfulness and mirth so prevalent in other cultures’ marriage ceremonies was notably absent. The process began with the groom’s female friends examining the naked bride for “defects.” If she passed inspection, a church ceremony followed, during which they would shower the bride with hops, wishing her as many children as hops on the ground (rather an extreme blessing, but well-intentioned).

At the wedding feast, the newlyweds had to sit without eating while children sang the most obscene songs imaginable in their language. Finally, the wedding party would escort the couple to their chamber, where the husband had concealed a small whip in his boot.

“He orders the bride to pull off his boots; and if she happens to remove first the one containing the trinket, she receives it as a token of good fortune. However, should she choose the boot containing the whip, he delivers a stroke with it—a preview of what she might expect in future.”

The couple would then have two hours of privacy while elderly women waited outside. Afterwards, the bride was expected to present these women with “the marks of her virginity.” The old women would then braid the bride’s dishevelled hair, collect the dowry from her parents, and thus the blessed union would be complete—to be severed only by the comparatively warm embrace of death.

6. Swedish Wives Get the Upper Foot

After the heart-wrenching “joy” of a Russian wedding, it’s refreshing to discover the more whimsical Swedish wedding traditions, recorded in 1835. The Swedes developed clever techniques to ensure the wife maintained the upper hand in marriage:

1. The bride must glimpse her bridegroom before he sees her; this ensures she’ll be in charge.
2. During the ceremony, she should keep at least one foot ahead of his for the same reason.
3. She must be quick to sit first at the wedding banquet.
4. Finally, she should “accidentally” drop something, causing her groom to bend down and retrieve it—thus ensuring he’ll “bend his back to her will” throughout their marriage.

Remarkably, Sweden endured winters just as harsh as Russia’s, yet seemed to handle them with considerably more humour.

7. In Case He Forgot

Here’s a curious tradition, documented in 1921, shared by regions as distant as “White Russia” (now Belarus) and indigenous Colombian communities: the practice of beating the groom and commanding him to consummate the marriage immediately.

In Belarus, the best man would follow the couple to their bedroom, wait until they were under the covers, then whip his friend while shouting, “Look at each other, kiss, and embrace! FAST!” In Colombia, the designated whip-bearer would follow the couple to their marital hut, shouting “TAKE THE WOMAN!” while administering lashes with the same whip used in funeral ceremonies. (The whip’s funeral-related purpose remains mercifully unrecorded.)

8. Truth

If you’re seeking a wife in 19th-century Netherlands, there’s just one crucial piece of wisdom to remember:

“Those who do not like cats will not get handsome wives.”

Wise words indeed.