People Like Us Do Things Like This

A wedding blogger I usually respect wrote a line that really got under my skin:

Wedding vows – that one wedding tradition that just won’t go away.

Not because it’s rude. Not because it’s technically wrong. But because it misses the point entirely.

Wedding vows aren’t a tradition. They’re the mechanism by which you become married. They’re not some legacy quirk we’re clinging to out of habit. They’re the point of the entire day. They’re how a marriage begins. They are the keys that you turn to start the marriage endinge. They’re how two people stand in front of each other — and their community — and breathe their relationship into life with words.

Without vows, it’s not a wedding. It’s just a nice party with expensive outfits.

Tradition Isn’t the Villain

There’s been a cultural shift — maybe an overcorrection — in how we talk about weddings. Tradition is now treated like it’s the enemy. Like doing something your parents or grandparents might have done means you’ve sold out, lost your personality, or bought into the “wedding industrial complex.”

But tradition isn’t evil.

Tradition is the infrastructure of human life. It’s how we mark the moments that matter. It’s how we say, as Seth Godin puts it,

People like us do things like this.

And that’s not about conformity. It’s about identity. Belonging. Community. Meaning.

Ritual Is Not the Same as Commercialism

Confetti cones, champagne towers, welcome signs – those are trends. Marketing-driven moments. Beautiful, sure. Fun, absolutely. But not the spine of the day.

Standing across from your person and saying “I choose you” in front of the people who shaped your life? That’s ancient. That’s ritual. That’s what humans have done, in every culture, in every language, since we started walking upright.

You’re Not Boring if You Choose Tradition

There’s nothing wrong with writing your own rules. I help couples do it every week. But there’s also nothing wrong with choosing to walk down the aisle, wear a white dress, or exchange rings. You’re not basic for wanting those things. You’re not less creative. You’re not doing it “like everyone else.”

You’re doing what people like you do.

That’s what tradition is. It’s shorthand for meaning. It’s memory, shared across generations.

What We Really Want Is Connection

When couples say they want a “non-traditional” wedding, what they usually mean is “I want it to feel like us.” That’s the goal. That’s the job.

But let’s not throw out meaningful rituals just because they’re familiar. The aim is never to be unique for uniqueness’ sake. The aim is to feel human, present, and connected.

The Problem Isn’t Tradition — It’s Templates

Where things go wrong is when traditions are included out of obligation. Mindlessly. With no thought or heart.

That’s not tradition. That’s templating.

Good celebrants — and good ceremonies — don’t run on templates. They take what’s meaningful, add intention, and tell better stories. We don’t need to scrap rituals. We need to tell richer, truer, more beautiful stories about why they matter.

Let’s Remember What Weddings Are Actually For

The vows are not “that one tradition that just won’t go away.”

They are the wedding. Not a part of a wedding. Your wedding is you saying that we do things like this when we meet the best person alive and we decide to spend the rest of our days together.

Traditions are the moment we stop planning and styling and pinning and finally do the thing. They’re the magic trick where two people become a married couple in a handful of words.

Let’s not forget that.

The hard work you need to do is to figure out how “people like you” do things.

Let’s not throw out the good stuff because someone on Pinterest called it “cringe.”

Let’s hold space for traditions — not because they’re old, but because they’re ours.
Because people like us… do things like this.