Smart Couples Plan Their Wedding Planning With With Cash, Not Dates

Most wedding planning advice starts with picking a date. But what if I told you that’s backward thinking? Before you dive into vendor calls and venue tours, let’s build a smarter approach to wedding budgeting—one that starts with your bank account, not your calendar.

A Different Approach to Wedding Planning

You’ve probably noticed that traditional wedding budget discussions jump straight into vendor pricing: “Expect to pay X for photography, Y for catering…” We’re not doing that. Instead, we’re going to create a framework that helps you plan a wedding that reflects who you are and what you value—a wedding with intent.

The Foundation: Financial Philosophy

Before we crunch numbers, let’s establish two important principles:

1. The Debt Question: While I personally advocate avoiding non-property debt, you’re adults who can make your own decisions. Just know that starting a marriage with wedding debt is like beginning a race wearing a weighted vest—possible, but challenging.

2. Financial Unity: Research shows that couples who combine finances tend to have stronger marriages. If you’re planning to share a life, sharing a bank account is a good start. (But hey, that’s just my perspective based on the data.)

The Simple Math of Wedding Planning

Let’s break this down into a straightforward formula. You need four numbers:

• a = Current savings
• s = Monthly savings capacity
• e = Estimated total expenses
• m = Months until wedding

The formula is beautifully simple:

(e - a) / s = m

Real-World Example:

• Wedding cost (e): $30,000
• Current savings (a): $20,000
• Monthly savings (s): $1,000
• Result: ($30,000 - $20,000) / $1,000 = 10 months

If you’re reading this in January, you could be walking down the aisle in November!

Understanding Wedding Expenses

Wedding costs fall into two categories:

1. Static Costs: These don’t change with guest count
   • Example: Celebrant fees typically stay the same whether you have 20 or 200 guests
2. Scalable Costs: These change with your guest count
   • Example: Catering costs multiply with each additional guest

The Date: A Result, Not a Starting Point

Here’s where our approach differs from traditional planning: your wedding date emerges from your financial timeline, not the other way around.

Using our earlier example of a 10-month timeline:

1. First, identify the target month (e.g., November)
2. If November doesn’t work for your location or vision, look at the months following (perhaps April or May)
3. Then choose your day of the week (Pro tip: Non-Saturday weddings often offer more flexibility and savings)
4. Finally, consider meaningful dates or holidays within your target timeframe

Approaching Vendors: A Template

When you’re ready to contact vendors, use this template:

Dear [Vendor Name],

We’re planning our wedding with intention, guided by Josh Withers’ “The Rebel’s Guide To Getting Married.” We’re interested in your [specific service] for a [day of week] in [month].

Rather than setting a date first, we’re collaborating with our chosen vendors to find a date that works for our dream team. Could you please share your:

• Available dates
• Packages and pricing
• Any seasonal considerations

We’ll coordinate with all vendors to select the perfect date for everyone involved.

Next Steps

Now that you have a solid financial framework, you’re ready to start exploring vendors who align with your vision. Remember: a wedding planned with intention starts with understanding your resources, not circling a date on a calendar.