What Are Weddings For?

What’s a wedding really for?

Getting married doesn’t actually need much. Legally, it’s 120 words and five signatures. Done. So why do we do more?

Because us humans are a beautifully odd lot that find beauty in the little weird things.

Is a wedding - your wedding - for you as a couple? For your family? For the community around you? The answer matters, because if you skip that question, you end up planning someone else’s wedding instead of your own.

Before you book a planner, celebrant like myself, photographer, or venue, sit down together and ask: what is our wedding for?

I like to think of it like a brand activation.

In marketing they hold brand activations as a moment where you stand up and show the world who you are. Red Bull is the best at them in modern years. They famously are always hosting or sponsoring extreme sports events, and giving away free Red Bulls everywhere. We all know that Red Bull gives you wings because of their brand activations.

Your wedding can do that for you as a couple. If that thought makes you nervous because you don’t quite know who you are together yet, that’s fine—this process can help you figure it out.

Here’s the simple rule: don’t add anything to your wedding just because a mate asked if you’d thought of it. Only do it if it fits what your wedding is for. If it screams from the mountaintops: “this is us, this is what is important to us, this is our marriage!”

If your version of a marriage launch is dinner with eight people, that’s perfect. If it’s 200 guests and second cousins, also perfect. As long as it’s your choice.

Because the only rip-off wedding is the one where you walk away not knowing what it was for. That’s when it just becomes another event with cake. And if that’s all it is, you may as well wear a wedding dress to the next burger night with your mates.

Your wedding is your chance to step into your life together with intention. Make it yours.