I think 18 minutes is the perfect wedding ceremony length

Britt and I enjoyed a meal at a Michelin-starred restaurant while we were in Rome this week. You know the kind — dim lights, perfect plating, waitstaff who gently place your cutlery like they’re handling ancient artefacts. The food? Incredible. Genuinely some of the best bites my mouth has ever had the pleasure of demolishing.

But also: the servings were small.

You don’t go to a fine dining restaurant to get full. You go for the flavour, the experience, the craft. Every element is intentional. Nothing is wasted.

Marriage ceremonies should be the same, in my humble little opinion.

Bigger isn’t better. Better is better.

Too many think a wedding ceremony should be long to be meaningful. That somehow, more readings, more poems, more unity rituals, more words equals more emotion.

But that’s just not true.

If you’ve ever scrolled a wedding subreddit, read a bride or groom’s wedding blog, or talked to literally anyone who’s been to a wedding, you’ll notice no one — and I mean no one — is asking for longer ceremonies.

Not once has a guest said, “Wow, that was beautiful, but I wish it went for another 40 minutes.”

And yet, a celebrant friend once told me with a straight face that “the people want a one-hour ceremony.”

People want a good ceremony. Not a long one. Just like people want good movies. If the story needs three hours, fine — but if it can be told in 80 minutes and leave you breathless, even better.

My 18-minute rule

The folks behind TED Talks — the global standard for high-impact, meaningful speaking — did the research and found that 18 minutes is the sweet spot.

It’s long enough to say something profound.
Short enough to keep people engaged.
Just right for making people feel something and remember it later.

It’s not that every ceremony must be exactly 18 minutes. But it’s a useful guide. Around 15–20 minutes is usually the perfect length to do all the beautiful, funny, powerful, meaningful things — and still leave people wanting more, not checking their watches and wondering when the bar opens.

It’s easy to make a long ceremony. The hard part is making a good short one.

Anyone can fill an hour. That’s easy. Throw in some templated readings, a couple of recycled jokes, a longwinded life story, maybe a sand ceremony or a reading about penguins or quote Friends about lobsters — boom. You’re at 45 minutes before anyone even says “I do.”

But that’s not craft. That’s filler.

Writing a short, powerful, memorable ceremony is hard work. It’s editing. It’s curation. It’s being ruthless with what stays and what gets cut. Every word has to earn its place.

It’s the difference between dumping ingredients in a pot and calling it stew — or hand-crafting a dish with balance, texture, and actual flavour.

For my couples: what to expect

If you’re planning a ceremony with me, just know this — we’ll aim for the good stuff. The fine dining version. Not rushed, not padded. Just right.

Not short for the sake of being short. Short because we respect your guests’ attention, your time, and your wedding day.

And most importantly, because we can say everything that actually matters in less time than it takes to microwave a pub schnitty.

For celebrants (yes, I see you)

Stop trying to impress each other with how long you can talk.

The real flex is being able to hold space, create meaning, tell a story, and marry two people in under 20 minutes — and still leave people raving about how real and honest and bloody good the ceremony was.

Serve up a ceremony like it’s a degustation. Not a buffet.

Less gravy. More flavour.