How to have a generic wedding

Friend, groomsman, and fellow-Reel-oversharer Scotty text me about a wedding he attended yesterday, saying:

Following our wedding I developed weighty opinions that having a wedding within the bounds of a Catholic Church and a function venue that mostly does fancy weddings was guaranteed to create a generic wedding. And I went to a wedding that matched this two years ago.

Last night’s wedding was at a Catholic Church, then reception at the Queensland Art Gallery and it was just dripping in authenticity and I realised, perhaps the obvious, that the bride and grooms attitude toward each other, their relationship, their guests, is really the key thing that makes a great wedding

I replied telling him he’s 100% right.

I don’t make good weddings. Couples do.

If the attitude and intention is right, then I shine and accidentally look like a magician but the truth is that I’m just turning the volume up on a banger of a song, I don’t actually make bangers, I just amplify them and master them.

But without that solid foundation? I’m just a bloke in Blundstones speaking into an expensive wireless microphone.

After creating thousands of wedding ceremonies across Australia and the world since 2009, I’ve seen this truth play out time and again. The most spectacular Icelandic waterfall backdrop means nothing if the couple is more focused on Instagram-worthy photos than on celebrating their commitment to each other.

Likewise, the simplest ceremony in a suburban park can be transcendent when the couple is fully present, madly in love, and genuinely grateful for everyone who’s come to witness their marriage.

The fashion and magazine industry often pushes the narrative that your special day hinges on finding the perfect venue, photographer, dress, or (dare I say it) celebrant.

Those things matter, of course they do. But they’re embellishments on something much more fundamental – the attitude you bring to your wedding.

When I married Britt back in 2012, we were blessed with a beautiful day and people. But what made it magical wasn’t the styling or the soundtrack (thought the soundtrack was good) – it was the fact that we were utterly present with each other and with our guests, soaking in every moment of committing our lives to one another.

So if you’re planning your wedding, by all means choose venues and vendors that reflect who you are - that’s important. But remember that the most crucial element isn’t something you can book or buy – it’s the spirit and intention you bring to the day.

Come with the right attitude, and I promise even the most “ordinary” wedding will be extraordinary. And that authenticity? It can’t be faked, staged, or purchased.

It simply radiates when two people who genuinely love each other, surrounded by people they care about, commit to building a life together.

That’s the real magic.

The rest is decoration.