What do I talk about in a wedding ceremony?

To encourage someone means to literally give them courage. And whilst I’m standing there creating a sacred space for two people to exchange vows, I’m also there to encourage them — to fill them with the courage to step boldly into marriage.

Last night I found myself watching other celebrants on YouTube, because I realised I’ve never paid much attention to what others do. Turns out I do things quite a bit differently. So I thought it worth explaining what I actually talk about during a wedding ceremony.

I’m an Encourager, Not an Educator

I make the assumption that when you walk down the aisle, you already know what you’re getting yourself into. In the 18 minutes we’re standing in front of your nan, you don’t need relationship counselling or sex education. I believe you’re smart enough to figure that out for yourself and seek help if you need it.

The ceremony isn’t the place for a marriage seminar — it’s the place to celebrate the decision you’ve already made.

This Is a Happy Time, Not a Sad Time

Wedding ceremonies should be joyful occasions. I’ll stay away from the difficult realities of life and focus squarely on the positives. We’re not here to discuss the statistics on divorce rates or the challenges that lie ahead. We’re here to celebrate love and commitment.

There’s a time and place for serious conversations about marriage — your wedding day isn’t it.

The Law Gets the Encouraging Treatment Too

I do mention the few things the law requires me to cover, but I deliver them in an encouraging way. Rather than the robotic “this is what the law tells me to say” approach, I weave these legal elements into the celebration naturally.

The monitum and legal vows don’t have to feel like a courtroom proceeding — they can be part of the joy.

We’re Looking Forward, Not Backward

A wedding ceremony is fundamentally forward-looking — it’s the opening ceremony of your marriage, not the closing ceremony of your dating life. We’re not ignorant of your past (how you met, where you’ve been together), but we’re heralding in an exciting future.

Your wedding ceremony should feel like the beginning of an adventure, not a nostalgic look backward.

Laughter and Tears Are Both Welcome

I believe people should laugh during wedding ceremonies. And sometimes cry happy tears if the moment moves them enough. The goal isn’t to have everyone sit there silently and well-behaved like they’re in detention.

Wedding ceremonies should be full of life, emotion, and authentic human responses.

My Role Is to Create Celebration

In summary: I’ll encourage you that you’re making an awesome decision. I genuinely believe you are. Then I’ll help everyone else encourage you, applaud you, and make you feel completely supported and celebrated.

Because I’m a celebrant — literally a person who creates celebration. I’ll leave the marriage education to the marriage educators and focus on what I do best: creating a moment where love is celebrated, courage is given, and two people are sent off into married life with the wind at their backs.

That’s what encouragement looks like in practice. That’s what I bring to your ceremony.

Feature image by George Bowden wedding photography in Rome