Josh Withers · Wedding planning · 2 min read
Making Your Wedding Worth Hearing
Discover why wedding ceremonies often go unheard and how to make yours memorable. Taking inspiration from Yoda's distinctive speech, learn why breaking from tired wedding traditions ensures your ceremony captures hearts and minds.
When I first pinned the celebrant badge to my lapel in 2009, one thought kept circling my mind: nobody’s actually listening to wedding ceremonies.
It wasn’t that guests weren’t physically present - they were there, phones hopefully tucked away, perched on those uncomfortable white folding chairs we all know too well. But mentally? They’d checked out before the first “Dearly beloved” hit the air.
Why? Because they’d heard it all before.
The same tired phrases recycled at every ceremony:
- “We are gathered here today…”
- “Love is patient, love is kind…”
- “Two become one…”
- “For richer, for poorer…”
- “You may now kiss the bride…”
These wedding ceremony staples have become so commonplace that they’ve essentially turned invisible. When guests hear the opening lines, their brains subconsciously think, “I know this script,” and switch to autopilot.
Recently in an interview, George Lucas explained why he gave Yoda his distinctive backwards speech pattern in Star Wars:
“Because if you speak regular English, people won’t listen that much. But if he had an accent, or it’s really hard to understand what he’s saying, they focus on what he’s saying.”
Lucas needed 12-year-olds to hear Yoda’s wisdom, so he made the wise Jedi speak differently. He disrupted expectations to command attention.
This is precisely what I’ve aimed to do with wedding ceremonies for fifteen years. I don’t suggest speaking backwards like our little green friend (though I’d happily officiate a Star Wars themed wedding). Rather, I believe in creating ceremonies that wake people up because they don’t sound like every other wedding they’ve attended.
When your celebrant says something unexpected, personal, or uniquely phrased, guests lean in. They tune back in. They actually hear the significance of what’s happening.
Your marriage deserves that attention. Your ceremony deserves to be heard, not just witnessed.
The greatest moments in life happen when we’re fully present. A marriage ceremony marks one of the most significant transitions two people will make together. It deserves more than mumbled clichés and zoned-out guests.
So when planning your ceremony, consider this: what will make your people truly listen? What words will cut through the wedding white noise? What will make this moment authentically yours?
Because your love story isn’t a cliché, and neither should be the way it’s told.
