A guide on how to attend a wedding as a guest

Hey, wedding guests, I’m talking to you today.

There are two people getting married and you’re invited to celebrate with them. I know what you’re thinking, gosh, another bloody wedding but this is no ordinary wedding, this is their wedding, and it’s a miracle that they are even together. There’s a one in four quadrillion chance of them even existing, then for them to meet, and not hate each other, but to get together, and then to agree that they should spend the rest of their life together? That’s crazy and amazing and worth putting all of your family shit, friend crap, and weird expectations of what a wedding should be for just one day and prepare yourself to actually celebrate the couple.

How do we do that you ask?

Turn up to the ceremony about 15 minutes early, leave your camera bag in the car, and your phone in your pocket. Put a happy face on and rock up to the ceremony ready to party. Fill up the seats (they’ve literally rented them at $15 a piece so don’t stand around them awkwardly, be a big kid and sit in a frickin chair), but offer your seat to elderly, or family if they can’t sit.

When they arrive to the ceremony, make them feel welcome, be the clap-starter not the clap-follower. Feel free to even wolf whistle or maybe go “yeah” with your mouth.

Simply put, look like you give AF. Like, just make it appear that you care. That as the couple or the celebrant look at you, we don’t have to wonder if you are interested in this.

That’s why you’re here, not for the free booze or to catch up with mates, but to communicate to the newlywed couple that you care.