One word that makes your wedding vows better

I see a lot of wedding vows, I hear even more, and over my 7 or so years as a marriage celebrant I think I’ve become a bit of a ‘vow connoisseur’. On this blog I’ve written about wedding vows, and making awesome wedding vows a few times.

But if you want to shortcut through all of that, and your time is short, here’s the ultimate writing guide:

Replace the word “I” with “you”.

The vows are for the other person getting married. They’re not for you. The vows are for your bride or groom. Saying “I” throughout makes them about you, but dropping “I” and moving to “you” refocuses the vows on the most important person in your life.

Too much “I” can make the vows a naval-gazing experience. Even “I do” can get a bit insular. Take your commitment and let it shine toward your favourite human. Phrases like:

• You make life better just by being in it
• You bring calm to my chaos
• You’re my favourite everything
• You make me laugh when I need it most
• You understand me like no one else ever has
• You’re the reason I believe in love
• You are home to me
• You make ordinary moments feel extraordinary
• You’ve taught me what real partnership looks like
• You challenge me in all the right ways
• You make me want to be a better person
• You’ve changed my life just by being yourself
• You make love feel easy, even when life isn’t
• You’ve helped me grow without asking me to change
• You give my life meaning and direction
• You’re the best part of every day
• You’ve made me feel seen, truly seen
• You are my safe place
• You’re the kind of person I want to grow old and weird with
• You’ve loved me even when I wasn’t loveable

That’s how you make amazing wedding vows!

Photo by George Bowden and The Elopement Collective